HONESTY IN RELATIONSHIPS
In relationships, a lot of things do happen. This could be as a result of two different people, different sexes coming together to experiment on the ability of their hearts to be loved or hurt. One of the rudiments in relationship is to be honest, sincere, and truthful to your partner.
Recently, I encountered a scenario that got me asking: Does Honesty pay in relationships?
Honesty, they say is the best policy, but does the same apply in relationships? When we are sincere about our lifestyle or our past deeds, do we get forgiveness or heartbreak?
Jane and Frank had been dating for 3 months and everything was going on smoothly. Frank was an auditor in a very prominent financial institution, while Jane was a PR in a governmental organization. They talked, admired, laughed and shared everything. They understood each other perfectly. Life was sweet and love was blossoming. Frank had insisted that Jane should move into his apartment but Jane has declined, for so many reasons, one of them being that they are not married. Due to the nature of her job, Jane was always on the road for one campaign or the other. Frank is not comfortable with this and had in few occasions suggested that Jane should quit her job and get another one that will make her less time bound and around. Jane had exploded, and Frank never dared to raise the issue again. In fact, he even agreed to help her in devising propaganda for her bosses.
All was perfect, until Jane left for one of her road trips. This time, in Abuja. ”Honey, it’s only for a week” She told Frank over the phone. “I wish they had told me earlier, I would have come around yesterday.”
“No problem love, just do your thing and hurry up to take care of your sweetheart ok?” Frank replied, in an attempt to reassure her that he is not mad with her, but is that really true Frank?
“Alright babe. Love you.”She hung up.
A week passed and no sign of her, but another phone call filled with regrets and promises to come home as soon as possible. A week turned to a month, and the communication was dying. The relationship was getting precarious. In an attempt to save the relationship, Jane invited Frank over during his casual leave. He stayed in the hotel with her where she was lodging, and the old flame was rekindled.
Frank left Abuja, feeling like the luckiest man alive. That night, he decided to hang out with his friends instead of staying in his lonely apartment.
Oh boy! You don fat finish oh! See your bele! Wetin Jane give you chop?” exclaimed Tunde
“I thought I was the only one who saw the difference. Frank, that babe is really good for you.” added Ifeanyi.
Frank smiled and replied,”What more can I say, I’m lucky!”And they all laughed. They were in a bar, drinking and catching up with good times. Suddenly, Frank heard his name. He turned around and was shocked to see Shola, his ex-girlfriend.
“Wow! What best place to see your ex”, he said to his friends before giving Shola a hug.”Nice to see you Shola, how are u?” I’m fine. She replied, flashing her snow -white teeth.
Frank was lost for a moment as he reveled in her beauty. He had been crazy over her then. She had been the cynosure of every event they attended *together; even his friends had envied him. Shola was beautiful, and was looking more than beautiful tonight. She was tall and walks with a graceful elegance. Her skin was chocolate cream colour, her face, well sculpted by a professional artist. Her eyes were cat-like with long lashes, a sharp pointed nose. And her lips? He reminisced the taste of her lips, sweet and luscious. He looked at her lips lovingly now before cautiously regaining his wild thoughts.
“So what are you doing here?” he asked. He knew it was a stupid question, but he has to say something before he loses control.
She slapped his arm lightly.”C’mon Frank, what would a lady like me be doing in a club if not to catch some fun with my friends.”
“Oh! Speaking of friends,” He turned to his friends. “This is Tund…”
“Tunde and Frank.” Said Shola, cutting him short. “I met them before remember? In fact, we all went out one time.”She laughed at the stupid expression on his face.”C’mon, let’s go dancing, Uh la la la.” She threw her hand in the air in gesture of the song.
“Ah! You know I’m not a good dancer.”
Don’t worry, I will teach you and I promise not to scream if you step on my toe.”
“I really can’t Shola, my friends would think I’m easily manipulated by a woman. Won’t you think so guys?” He turned to his friends for support.
“No, not at all. Enjoy yourself. At least, it’s not every day you get the opportunity to be asked for a dance by a beautiful lady” said Tunde, blatantly admiring Shola.
“Oh! Thanks.”
Frank felt he had just been invited to dine with the devil as Shola led him to the dance floor. His flesh was telling him to have a nice time with her, after all, they were still friends, but the spirit kept telling him to look for an escape route. Being so carnally –minded, he resolved to the former. Shola was really digging him on the dance floor. She whined and twisted her waist seductively, shoving her buttocks to his groin. He was embarrassed, but was amazingly horny. She turned to face him, looking deeply into his eyes; she licked her lips and flicked her tongue seductively. He could not resist her temptations anymore. He dragged her to a hidden corner at the bar and kissed her ravenously. God! She tasted to sweet like before, his hands roamed her body, feeling all the beautiful contours of her body.
“She can’t make you feel this way” She whispered in his ears.
That brought him back to reality. This was a mistake. How could he have allowed himself to fall for her charm? He felt helpless but he had to gather up his wits.
“Have a nice time”, he said and walked out on her to her astonishment. He didn’t even bother to check on his friends. He felt bad and guilty that he had betrayed Jane. How could he have cheated on her? He loved her and lovers do not cheat on each other. Suddenly, his heart became heavy with guilt.
The following week, Jane returned. He was so happy to have her back that he insisted she stayed at his place for a week. In his mind, it was a remission of his betrayal to her. He took good care of her during her stay at his place, cooked for her, bought gifts for her, and took her out. He did everything to make her feel loved.
Jane, on the other hand was feeling guilty as well. She felt she didn’t deserve Frank’s love. She had betrayed his love. How could he have hurt him, cheated on him by sleeping with that Senator? She had wondered what had made her perform that act, and still unable to figure out the reason. What was wrong with her? She watched Frank serve dinner and felt culpable. She should tell him. Yes! She should. At least, it is better for him to know the truth than to get the news from another source, because unfortunately for her she had ran into one of Frank’s colleague in Abuja, as she and the senator was leaving a hotel,. She knew she could deny the accusation if confronted. They could be there for an official meeting. Yet, she felt this heavy pang of guilt in her. She stood up and walked to him. He was leaning on the dining table. She searched his face, looking for a sort of assurance that he would understand her and would not be mad at her. She saw the lovely look in his eyes and knew that he would forgive her. He was very much in love with her, and honesty was one of those qualities that keep a relationship.
“Hey baby” He said, drawing her close. Her heart beat could be heard in the room. She chuckled. Funny, she had been going through this since she came back and now, right now, she was about to let the cat out of the bag.
Baby, there is something I want to tell you.” She snuggled closer.
“What is it baby?”
“Promise you won’t be mad at me?” She stroked his face lovingly.
“I won’t.”
She heaved a sigh, smiled at him and said, “I love you.”
“And I love you too.” They kissed.
That night, Jane scolded herself for being such a coward. She was so close to telling him the truth, but the fear that she might lose him was too much to ignore. She decided that she was never going to tell him the truth. She would keep her secret safe from him.
Things went on as normal, their love life was splendid and their secrets were hidden from each other. Unfortunately, nothing is hidden under the sun.
It was a sunny Sunday afternoon and Romeo and Juliet took a trip to the cinema to watch movies. As they stepped out of the elevator, they collided with Jane’s lover. Immediately Jane saw him, colour drained from her face, her heart skipped faster and she felt the hall spinning around her.
“Miss Adams, what are you doing here?”
“Senator Kunle, Good day. Em, I’m here with my fiancé, we are spending the afternoon together. “She stuttered.
“Oh! I see.” The senator sized Frank’s up with his eyes, ignoring his outstretched hand for a shake then returned his gaze at Jane.
“See me in the office tomorrow. Have a nice day.” He walked away.
“Honey, please pay no attention to him.” Jane said, trying hard to lessen the load of guilt that was weighing on her chest
As if that was not enough, Henry, Frank’s colleague whom Jane has run into at the hotel with the Senator in Abuja, was walking towards them. Jane felt that she was already being punished by God. Right behind him was Shola, Frank’s girlfriend. What was happening? Is it the Judgment day or what? Jane felt Frank stiffen at the sight of Shola. She looked at him. Does he still have feelings for her? This is insane!
Unknown to Jane that Frank’s guilt was as worse as hers,
“Honey, excuse me, I have to go to the rest room.” Frank said, trying to ease his nerves. At that moment, Henry called out his name.
“Hey Frank, Jane, what are you doing here?”
“We came to watch the movies.” said Jane quickly.
“Guess who I ran into here, Shola.”
“Hey Frank.” Jane scowled at her and she cringed.
“I thought I saw the senator Jane, your friend. Did you come together?”Asked Henry, giving her the blackmailer’s look.
“Frank love, I need to talk to you now, excuse us.”Jane grabbed his hand.
They walked to the extreme of the hall. Jane took a deep breath. It was time, she told herself. She has to tell him now or she would never have the opportunity to do it again, and it might too late then.
“Frank I really need to tell you the truth.
“What is it baby?”
She fidgeted a while, and then said, “I had an affair with someone in Abuja.
“WHAT?”
“I’m sorry, but it was just once. I don’t know what got into my head that day, I wasn’t thinking. I’m really sorry.”She tried to hold his hand, but he pulled away.
“When did it happen, before or after I visited you?”He asked her curtly, his voice filled with pain.
She remained silent,
“Answer me!”He shouted at her. .
“Before your visit.”
Oh! His visit was a make up for her mistake. Very clever. He really admired her wits. And there he was punishing himself for his own betrayal.
“It was the senator right?”She nodded in response.
Frank was felt like an idiot. The senator has been screwing her. No wonder he had looked at him in a disgusting manner.
“I know I should have told you earlier but I was scared that I was going to hurt you and you will never trust me again. I was afraid you might hear it from another source. And seeing Henry and Shola now, I knew I had to tell you the truth.”
She tried to hold his arms again but he shoved her away, looked at her disgustedly and left.
And that was the end of their relationship. Frank never called or answered Jane’s phone calls or even bother to call her, they became strangers once again.After encountering this scenario, I realized that honesty is never the best policy in some matters in relationships. Do not tell if he doesn’t ask. Let’s face the truth. There are some things that should be left unsaid in a relationship. It was clear from the story that Jane ended up being the victim of her guilt and Frank’s as well. She didn’t get forgiveness, and never get to know about Frank’s betrayal as well. As much as we ladies will like to be the good person in our relationship, we should take cognizance of the fact that infidelity is inevitable in some relationships and we should stop deceiving ourselves that being honest about it won’t make it easier for the men to forgive us, because emotions are being involved. And if the man gets to forgive you, give you a second chance, there is a high possibility that he will retaliate. Men are very vengeful. Most times, we ladies feel insecure when the man is being so good to us. So, if you know you can’t take the risk of the game don’t play the game. Remember, if he don’t ask, don’t tell.
