IT’S SO UNFAIR

Cried out a single-aged woman. What is so unfair you ask? Well here is her story.

I’m Ngozi Egwu, a 30 year old single lady. And for the record, I am not an old maid. It’s only in this part of the world that people think single hood is a crime. Anyway, back to my story. I am a graduate and a freelance journalist. One of my greatest desires is to be loved by someone I love. Believe it or not, people you don’t care about will love you so perfectly, while those you love are not aware of your existence. Reminds me of Celine Dion’s song ‘When the wrong one loves you right’. #1 unfair fact about life.

However, I have been into many relationships. Some memorable, some not imaginable. Thus, I can say I’m a pro in relationship issues. (Keep your opinion to yourself) Somehow, somewhere, I ended up in a relationship with a guy that I am eight years older than. He was my younger brother’s friend. I know what you are thinking ladies. I know I shouldn’t have stooped so low. I am not ugly nor too fat so don’t think I am ugly Betty or the older guys are not attracted to me. No. It’s just this chemistry. This lustful feeling you get when you feel attracted to someone. His name is Gaby. Very handsome and smart. Personally, I think he’s trapped in the wrong body. We got this thing going. And he was much crazier in love with me (so I thought) than I was. And we never went out. Why? Because I know what my friends will say. Though they like him but the fact that I’m older than him, Hah! They don’t do that shit.

Honestly, I had other flings behind him and I never cared how he felt. Because according to my school of thought, as long I am the older one, I got the upper hand. He was not always at my beck and call, but he was always there when I needed him most.

Financial – wise, he spends. All I do is cook for him. I love cooking, so I didn’t feel like I was doing a lot. My small boyfriend was so loving until my younger sister birthday. I saw a part of him that I never knew existed. I mean, I thought I knew so much about him and I can manipulate him anytime and any how I like. Well, here was my big surprise. Before I go into details, this is what I know about my boyfriend before the party:
He is cool, intelligent, smart, a good listener, very caring, spends almost or half of his leisure time with me, massages me, very loving.
Now after the party, this is what my boyfriend is:
A pretender, a cheater, and a smooth operator.

This was how it happened. It was my younger sister’s birthday party. And I invited my boyfriend, though he didn’t need any invitation. I was the MC and he was the DJ. The party was going on smoothly until dancing time. He asked me for a dance but I declined because;
(1) My friends were there.
(2) I love dancing alone.

So he danced with my little cousin who was his age mate, and was looking so sexy in her party outfit. I didn’t bulge an eye. It was a party. So I went outside to hang out with my girlfriends. Few minutes later, I bade goodbye to my girlfriends who were eager to go to the club and went back to the party. I was nonplussed when I got to the living room. Right in front of me was my boyfriend kissing my cousin. Oh! I lowered my head, turned back and headed for the next exit, which turned out to be my bedroom. I shut the door loudly and inhaled sharply, trying to get over my shock.

After few gasps of air, I felt relieved. I walked back to the party, this time, they were by the doorway, I had to act normal and not hysterical.
“Ok! Romeo and Juliet out of the way” I said, as I approached them putting on a plastic smile while my heart needed a plastic surgery.

After the party, my boyfriend came to relax with me. I wanted to scream at him, but I thought better off, silence would be best. He knew I was giving him a cold shoulder, I knew his conscious pricked him, but he decided to play all smart with me. God! I so much waited to scratch his face with my fingers. But I have to act maturely. So we stayed in silence for 10 minutes before my adversary knocked. I didn’t tell you about Tessy. That’s her name. I like her and she likes and respects me a lot. To her, I was a mentor, which was why she came to tell me about my boyfriend advances on her. When she walked in, my boyfriend muttered something, I asked him what he said and he replied nothing. I threatened that if he didn’t tell me, he should never talk to me again. Meanwhile, Tessy was tugging at my arm, begging me to come that she really wants to talk to me. So, I left with her. And she told me how my boyfriend approached her, asked her out, and kissed her. And she feels she likes him a lot and might date him but she needs to know if he is a cool guy. Technically speaking, she came to ask me if she can go out with my boyfriend. Hah! I hated being a mentor then. I felt like a very big blow was strike on my face. I blinked my eyes, trying to regain calmness. And this is what I said to her.
“Of course you can. Gaby is a real cool guy, very loving and caring, you will never regret hanging out with him. I can’t tell you to date him, it is your personal decision but I can tell you that he is a good guy to date.” She thanked me and hugged me joyfully. I let out a very big sigh and walked back to my supposed boyfriend. I kept my cool and I asked him what he said when his new girlfriend came in, and he said “she loves shakara” And my control button just turned off and my anger became insufferable.
“Don’t give me that shit. In fact I have good news for you. You see that girl you called shakara girl, who you asked out and kissed is actually in love with you. I’m okay. I am not mad at you for asking her out but I am actually mad because you asked her out in my house. Ok! I know we are two worlds apart, so feel free to hangout with her. What you did was natural. I would call you a sick person if you had not asked her out. She is beautiful, yes very beautiful, but you should have asked her out, outside my house, not right under my nose. You insulted my personality. In fact, this is over, so so over. You can go hangout with your age mate while I find mine.” I walked out banging the door so loud. And in a flash, my head was inside again. “And for the record, we never dated and don’t you dare hurt her or tell her about us.”

I knew I was hysterical, but I just have to let the turmoil out. Anyway these were his later excuses:
(1) It was the influence of the party
(2) I was going to tell you later
(3) I was not serious with that
(4) I love you.

All these are no excuses. I won’t take any of that lie. It’s just so unfair. An older man dating a younger lady don’t feel insecure because he knows that ladies always fall for matured men, but the reverse is the case for a lady. Take me for example, I felt threatened and out of power over him because I knew, he will always lust after girls of his age or younger, and I am just like his mother or elder sister. It is so so unfair.

facial expression

Welcome to the month of May.A month of endless possibilities. I love this month very much,one of the reasons being that HipHop World Award is a week away and it is live in Abuja. Something happened during the week.My girlfriend and i were gisting and this topic just popped up from nowhere. Well it is about the male.What kind of facial expression does your man make when he reaches the eight world wonder? Does he shout JESUS!, like a demon is chasing him, or does he touch you like he is under anointing?Or maybe he goes all mellow like he is a jellyfish,or he does the talking,u know, the sex talk? Or he goes mute and only utter MMMM...,like a woman in labour? it is quite funny how men behave when they are climaxing. If u have a different idea or you have some you want to share, pls do not hesitate. I once made out with a guy and as he was about to climax, he started screaming as if there was a gun pointed at his head. I was so scared that i took a good look at him to know if he was alrite. To my surprise, there was this frightful look on his face,i quickly rolled him over and asked if he was alrite.He said he was,that in fact,it was his best ever.Even i as a lady i don't think i scream that much. i mean i scream but my facial expression is not that weird as the male folks Please tell me about yours.