“Dust to dust, ashes to ashes,” The priest words reverberated in my ears as I stared hard at the lifeless body in the wooden casket, the dry leaves rustling on the ground, the mourners wailing at the top of their voices, the atmosphere in the cemetery was plaintive but my heart was doleful. It’s still hard to believe that in a short while she will be buried six feet under the ground, unreachable to me, I will never tell her ‘I love you’, or kiss her lips or hug her in my arms, caress her hair or stare at those beautiful hazel eyes. How cruel can fate be? Everything still seem like a faze to me, it’s as if I’m caught up in a bad dream, but it’s all so real. I watched absently as her mother sobbed uncontrollably as Zara was lowered to mother earth. I felt envious for her, at least she had been with her since childbirth but me, barely 24hrs I knew her. Now she is gone, all the beautiful words unsaid, all the beautiful things undone. Sadly, I left the graveyard to mourn my pitiful state.
I met Zara during my NYSC, I was teaching in a school in a small town in Jos. I fell in love with her the very first moment I saw her. Her hazel eyes adorned with long and curved lashes captured my eye at first, then the way her long hair cascaded on her shoulders took my breath away, I was in a canteen having lunch when she passed by, I left my meal to watch her elegant steps as she walked into a compound adjacent to the canteen. The house was a duplex and had security guards surrounding it, at first I thought she probably came to visit the occupants of the house but was shocked later to find out that the house belonged to her. I asked the owner of the canteen who she was and I was told that she was the daughter of one of the richest men in the town, General Baita Mustapha.
Naturally, I should have gone my way and get her out of my mind because of her affluence but as a new day approaches, I realized that my desire for her increases. I started frequenting the canteen all in hope to see her, at a point the owner of the canteen offered to inform me whenever she was around. I did not see her for almost a month, by then my hopes were gone until one rainy afternoon, I saw her stranded on a nearby street, she had a flat tyre, I quickly asked her if she needed a lift and she obliged, I felt so happy that I nearly had an accident. However, she asked me to stop her few miles from her house and I asked why. She told me her father had guards watching her every movement and she would not like to get me into trouble. I even asked her if I can see her again and she gave me that innocent smile “impossible” and she alighted from the car. After that meeting, I went to inquire about her, my source told me that she was the last child and only girl of her parents, and her father was a strict man.
“You see, she lives alone in that house with about ten guards, her father protects her like a treasure, no man is allowed to visit her even her girlfriends rarely pay her a visit that is why she often goes out, even that has its own risks.”
He patted my shoulder and said “that girl is a no go area so don’t bother, look for someone else.” Nevertheless, that did not deter me; I was still determined to get her. I mean I even marveled at myself, how could I be so stupid to walk into such a scene? It is obvious that her world is impenetrable but I was still obstinate. I couldn’t decipher the feelings .it was just inexplicable.
I was hanging out one night with some of my new friends in a bar when she came with her girlfriends, my heart quickly somersaulted and I grabbed Musa excitingly. “There she is, the girl I have been telling you about!”
“You mean Zara,” he said, funny enough that was the first time I knew her name
“Yes, do you know her?”
“Of course, she is a family friend, but my friend you can’t have Zara, she is already engaged to that beastly human Salim” he said spitefully but I was not listening to him, my eyes were transfixed on Zara.
“Can I talk to her?”
“Sure, if you don’t love your life. There are guards outside watching her.”
“C’mon man, she knows you right, just ask her to join us.” Just as I looked up at her, our eyes met and she waved.
“Musa!” she screamed and ambled to our table.
“Hello! I did not even get your name the last time.” She said to me.
I was quite surprise at her bluntness,
“You were such in a hurry then, I’m Kunle.”
“Zara is mine though I know you already know but for formality sake, nice to meet you.”
“The pleasure is mine.”
“Ok I’m also here, how are you Zara” said Musa.
“Oh! I’m fine and how is Zainab? I know she is angry with me, I promised to go shopping with her last week but you know the General, Zara cannot visit until Salim says so.”
“Oh! How are you preparing for the marriage?”
“Can we change the subject?” she said dryly and turned to me, “so what do you do?”
“I’m a corper, teaching at the grammar school.”
“Oh! That means you must have met Miriam, she is my little cousin.”
“Oh! Quite a brilliant student.”
“I have to go before my dogs come barking, nice talking to you.”
“Can I have your number?” the words blurted out before I even gave it a thought. “Sure, Musa will give you.” and she left. I went to bed that day a happy man but the next day was hell. I was in the staff room when the principal summoned me to his office
“Sit down please.” He motioned to the wooden chair opposite him. All sort of thoughts raced through my mind, I wondered if the students had complained about my method of teaching, or anything because I hardly get such invitations.
“Mr. Pedro, I received a rather disturbing news about you,” he paused scrutinizing me from his wire rimmed glasses, I felt as if I was being interrogated by Derek.
“The General had gotten wind of your involvement with his daughter Zara and I do hope you know that the General is someone you won’t like to mess with”
I was nonplussed but I had the urge to defend myself.
“Sir, I merely exchanged pleasantries with her nothing else, it was actually my first time of meeting her.”
“I know young man but the General does not want to know.” he stood up and walked to the window. “Zara is his precious treasure; nobody messes with her even the supposed husband is afraid to greet her in the presence of his father, that’s the kind of power the General commands.” He turned to me, “did I tell you that the General contributed to the building of this school and also grants scholarship to some of our students? I don’t think you want to ruin the glory of this institution so be warned.” He retired to his seat and dismissed me. Ten minutes later, I was yet to recover from the shock, but funny enough I was not discouraged rather it urged me to get her, the desire was so compelling. I drafted a note and gave it to her cousin after warning her not to disclose it to anyone. In the note, I poured out my heart and true feelings to her, I told her I could have called but was not sure how discreet it could be since she was monitored every second. In a way it baffled me that in such developed era that such parents chastisement will still be meted out to the children. That night, her thoughts invaded my mind; I waited in anticipation of her reply. The following morning, I went early to the school just to interject Miriam, she handed me the note, which I quickly read but the response I received was not my expectation. She bluntly told me that she was engaged, and warned me never to send her any more notes through that medium; I tore the note in anger and was dejected throughout the day.
I stopped writing to her, even stopped thinking of her, I tried as much as I could to let go of everything, to believe that whatever I have for her was not worth the pain. At a point I was successful but then Musa invited me to a party in her house, it was her supposed fiancée birthday party. I wanted to decline but the thought of seeing her again made me accept the invitation. We arrived early at the party, I was astonished at the wealth that emanates from the house, it was like a palace; the rich adorned furniture, the blossomed gardens filled with fresh flowers, the house was just too tasteful, the extravagant lushness could not be disguised. I was still in awe when she walked in to greet us. She was adorned in a beautiful attire that made her look like an Indian woman. Her impeccable beauty and that compelling desire to have her struck me hard.
“Hello Kunle.” she said to me
“Hi.” I replied with the little breath I could muster. Then the celebrant came and I knew I was her shining knight that I had to save her from this beast. Salim looks betrayed him; he looked like everything but an angel. He had this mean face and dangerous smile that denotes cruelty. He forcibly hugged her to her side as they left us to attend to other guests, she turned to look at me and I saw the plea in her eyes. There and then, I made up my mind to save her and have her for myself.
The party wore on until late in the night when the General arrived. I felt his powerful mien when he entered the house, it was as if God entered himself and we were his angels acknowledging his presence. The General was a huge tall man with a very hard face due to his days in the army force. I felt my knees wobble as he approached us. Musa quickly scamper to his feet to greet him.
“Ah Musa, how are you doing?”
“Fine sir.”
“Are these your friends?”
“Yes sir.” then he pointed at me, “is he the Kunle I have been hearing of?”
Musa didn’t say anything, he looked at me in a way that conveyed I should save myself. So I stood tall and looked at the General, “no sir, I’m not Kunle, but I’m a friend of his.” the General looked at Musa to collaborate my words.
“Yes, he is a friend of Kunle.”
“Then you tell Kunle never to let me my eyes set on him.” and he walked away.
I heaved a great sigh. “That was a near death experience.” I told Musa
“Now you know why I told you that Zara is off limits”
Throughout the party, I stayed clear from the general whose eyes bored at me anywhere I go. I sensed he knew I lied to him and was waiting for a moment to strike. Suddenly we had a screeching voice from the kitchen and we all ran in. Right there in the middle of the room was my damsel curled up and convulsing. I quickly ran in and grabbed a spoon, which I used to hold her mouth apart. “Someone get a balm!” I shouted
I tried all I could to bring her back to life. After a while, she relaxed, by then the paramedics had arrived and they drove her to a hospital. I could not go with them but my heart went with her. I prayed fervently that she would be okay.
The next day I could not concentrate until I called Musa who told me that she was still in the hospital.
“But is she getting better?”
“I can’t say but the situation seems critical.”
“Please Musa I have to see her; you have to help me see her.”
“Kunle, it’s clear that you don’t value your life but I won’t be the one to lead you to your death.”
I thought of a thousand ways to see her, and came up with one. I got the name of the hospital and acted as if I was paying a visit to a patient in the hospital. I was lucky that none of her family members were around when I came. She was awake but dazed.
“Hey.” she said when she saw me
“Hey you, how are you doing?”
“I’m fine; at least that’s what the doctor said.”
“You will be fine.” and I reached for her hand, she didn’t object and I took advantage of it to caress her fragile hands.
“If you will only let me in, I promise to love you more even in pain.” she smiled and touched my cheek.
“It’s impossible, I’m engaged.”
“Damn your fiancée, he doesn’t deserve you, I do, where is he now? He will never respect or love you the way I do.” I burst out in anger.
“Please, don’t do this to me.” she cried
“I’m sorry, I’m inconsiderate, imagine asking you out in a sick bed.” and she laughed heartedly.
“Do you like novels, and oh I brought some apples for you.”
“Thank you, that was very thoughtful of you and I love novels.”
“That’s good, I can read this for you, it’s the ‘Jury’ by John Grisham, do you love his books?”
“Yes I do.”
And I read to her until late in the evening. !I will be here tomorrow.” I promised her and kissed her cheeks. I continued this routine for a week until she was strong enough to leave. On the day of her discharge I came early.
“Yes, I will be your lover, your wife, anything you want me to be.” were the first word she told me. My heart was filled with an inexorable joy and I hugged her so tightly and for the first time we kissed. It was blissful and passionate. I watched her melt into my arms and my love knew no bounds. It was as if God had ordained this day for both of us. When we broke apart, she laughed so heartily and I joined her, reveling in that moment. I promised to take her out the next day, just then her folks arrived and I hid in the closet in fear of the General. That night I was the happiest man alive, I was so in love that I could not wait for the break of dawn. The next morning I woke up early and prepared for work, throughout my stay in school, I was filled with apprehension and excitement, it was intriguing and yet I felt anxious. I wanted to do the right thing, say the right words and be the right one for her. I was about to get into my car when Musa came.
“Hi Musa, what brought you here to my school?”
“Where are you going?” he asked me instead
“To see Zara.” I told him happily
“I will drive you.”
His statement surprised me and gave me the feeling that something was amiss
“Has the general found out about us?”
“No Kunle, I just want to give you the company.”
“It’s so unlike you.”
“Well I’m learning to appreciate you the more.”
We drove a while and the fear in my heart surged more, I couldn’t bear it anymore, so I grabbed the wheels and forced him to stop the car.
“Is Zara alright?”
“Haba Kunle, we are heading to her house now.”
“No Musa, we are not moving an inch until you tell me what is going on.”
By then, beads of perspiration were flowing down my body.
“Kunle, you have to promise me that you will be calm.”
“Just tell me!”
He held his head in his hands and gave me that forlorn look
“Zara is dead.”
I didn’t hear him so I asked again and he shouted. ”Zara is dead man.” tears were trickling down his face.
I grabbed him by his collar. “You are joking right, you are joking.”
“No Kunle, she is gone. She died last night.”
It dawned on me that he was telling the truth, that the love of my life is gone.
“Noooooooooo!” I screamed and got out of the car.
“Kunle, come back! Where are you going?”
I ran all the way to her house like a mad man, on reaching her house the atmosphere confirmed it all. It was true really true that Zara is gone. I broke into tears, uncontrollable ones. I was so shaken by everything that till date I don’t know how I got home that night. I managed to get to work the following day but couldn’t do anything, I even walked the principal out of my office, and my sorrow was just too insufferable for me. The school gave me a one week leave and here I am still mourning the woman of my life the love of my life, how cruel has fate been to me. Zara I don’t know if I can ever love again, you have taken my heart with you and wherever you are, have pity on me and give me the heart to love another.
