LADY GAGA WENT GAGA AFTER CALIFORNIA COURT LIFTED BAN OVER GAY MARRIAGES

The sensational singer Lady Gaga went gaga after a california ban on gay marriage was struck down in court that she immediately started writing music. Who knows what her notes will say this time.

Same-sex marriage was legalized in the state in 2008, but the decision was reversed just six months later by the controversial Proposition 8 legislation.

On Wednesday, a top U.S. judge declared Prop 8 unconstitutional, paving the way for the ban to be lifted for good.

An avid supporter of homosexuality, Gaga was overwhelmed that gays can marry their partners and dedicates her lastest song 'Alejandro' to her huge gay fan base. What do you think will be the title of her new song ? Just cross your fingers. *wink*

heartbeat

“Dust to dust, ashes to ashes,” The priest words reverberated in my ears as I stared hard at the lifeless body in the wooden casket, the dry leaves rustling on the ground, the mourners wailing at the top of their voices, the atmosphere in the cemetery was plaintive but my heart was doleful. It’s still hard to believe that in a short while she will be buried six feet under the ground, unreachable to me, I will never tell her ‘I love you’, or kiss her lips or hug her in my arms, caress her hair or stare at those beautiful hazel eyes. How cruel can fate be? Everything still seem like a faze to me, it’s as if I’m caught up in a bad dream, but it’s all so real. I watched absently as her mother sobbed uncontrollably as Zara was lowered to mother earth. I felt envious for her, at least she had been with her since childbirth but me, barely 24hrs I knew her. Now she is gone, all the beautiful words unsaid, all the beautiful things undone. Sadly, I left the graveyard to mourn my pitiful state.
I met Zara during my NYSC, I was teaching in a school in a small town in Jos. I fell in love with her the very first moment I saw her. Her hazel eyes adorned with long and curved lashes captured my eye at first, then the way her long hair cascaded on her shoulders took my breath away, I was in a canteen having lunch when she passed by, I left my meal to watch her elegant steps as she walked into a compound adjacent to the canteen. The house was a duplex and had security guards surrounding it, at first I thought she probably came to visit the occupants of the house but was shocked later to find out that the house belonged to her. I asked the owner of the canteen who she was and I was told that she was the daughter of one of the richest men in the town, General Baita Mustapha.
Naturally, I should have gone my way and get her out of my mind because of her affluence but as a new day approaches, I realized that my desire for her increases. I started frequenting the canteen all in hope to see her, at a point the owner of the canteen offered to inform me whenever she was around. I did not see her for almost a month, by then my hopes were gone until one rainy afternoon, I saw her stranded on a nearby street, she had a flat tyre, I quickly asked her if she needed a lift and she obliged, I felt so happy that I nearly had an accident. However, she asked me to stop her few miles from her house and I asked why. She told me her father had guards watching her every movement and she would not like to get me into trouble. I even asked her if I can see her again and she gave me that innocent smile “impossible” and she alighted from the car. After that meeting, I went to inquire about her, my source told me that she was the last child and only girl of her parents, and her father was a strict man.
“You see, she lives alone in that house with about ten guards, her father protects her like a treasure, no man is allowed to visit her even her girlfriends rarely pay her a visit that is why she often goes out, even that has its own risks.”
He patted my shoulder and said “that girl is a no go area so don’t bother, look for someone else.” Nevertheless, that did not deter me; I was still determined to get her. I mean I even marveled at myself, how could I be so stupid to walk into such a scene? It is obvious that her world is impenetrable but I was still obstinate. I couldn’t decipher the feelings .it was just inexplicable.
I was hanging out one night with some of my new friends in a bar when she came with her girlfriends, my heart quickly somersaulted and I grabbed Musa excitingly. “There she is, the girl I have been telling you about!”
“You mean Zara,” he said, funny enough that was the first time I knew her name
“Yes, do you know her?”
“Of course, she is a family friend, but my friend you can’t have Zara, she is already engaged to that beastly human Salim” he said spitefully but I was not listening to him, my eyes were transfixed on Zara.
“Can I talk to her?”
“Sure, if you don’t love your life. There are guards outside watching her.”
“C’mon man, she knows you right, just ask her to join us.” Just as I looked up at her, our eyes met and she waved.
“Musa!” she screamed and ambled to our table.
“Hello! I did not even get your name the last time.” She said to me.
I was quite surprise at her bluntness,
“You were such in a hurry then, I’m Kunle.”
“Zara is mine though I know you already know but for formality sake, nice to meet you.”
“The pleasure is mine.”
“Ok I’m also here, how are you Zara” said Musa.
“Oh! I’m fine and how is Zainab? I know she is angry with me, I promised to go shopping with her last week but you know the General, Zara cannot visit until Salim says so.”
“Oh! How are you preparing for the marriage?”
“Can we change the subject?” she said dryly and turned to me, “so what do you do?”
“I’m a corper, teaching at the grammar school.”
“Oh! That means you must have met Miriam, she is my little cousin.”
“Oh! Quite a brilliant student.”
“I have to go before my dogs come barking, nice talking to you.”
“Can I have your number?” the words blurted out before I even gave it a thought. “Sure, Musa will give you.” and she left. I went to bed that day a happy man but the next day was hell. I was in the staff room when the principal summoned me to his office
“Sit down please.” He motioned to the wooden chair opposite him. All sort of thoughts raced through my mind, I wondered if the students had complained about my method of teaching, or anything because I hardly get such invitations.
“Mr. Pedro, I received a rather disturbing news about you,” he paused scrutinizing me from his wire rimmed glasses, I felt as if I was being interrogated by Derek.
“The General had gotten wind of your involvement with his daughter Zara and I do hope you know that the General is someone you won’t like to mess with”
I was nonplussed but I had the urge to defend myself.
“Sir, I merely exchanged pleasantries with her nothing else, it was actually my first time of meeting her.”
“I know young man but the General does not want to know.” he stood up and walked to the window. “Zara is his precious treasure; nobody messes with her even the supposed husband is afraid to greet her in the presence of his father, that’s the kind of power the General commands.” He turned to me, “did I tell you that the General contributed to the building of this school and also grants scholarship to some of our students? I don’t think you want to ruin the glory of this institution so be warned.” He retired to his seat and dismissed me. Ten minutes later, I was yet to recover from the shock, but funny enough I was not discouraged rather it urged me to get her, the desire was so compelling. I drafted a note and gave it to her cousin after warning her not to disclose it to anyone. In the note, I poured out my heart and true feelings to her, I told her I could have called but was not sure how discreet it could be since she was monitored every second. In a way it baffled me that in such developed era that such parents chastisement will still be meted out to the children. That night, her thoughts invaded my mind; I waited in anticipation of her reply. The following morning, I went early to the school just to interject Miriam, she handed me the note, which I quickly read but the response I received was not my expectation. She bluntly told me that she was engaged, and warned me never to send her any more notes through that medium; I tore the note in anger and was dejected throughout the day.
I stopped writing to her, even stopped thinking of her, I tried as much as I could to let go of everything, to believe that whatever I have for her was not worth the pain. At a point I was successful but then Musa invited me to a party in her house, it was her supposed fiancée birthday party. I wanted to decline but the thought of seeing her again made me accept the invitation. We arrived early at the party, I was astonished at the wealth that emanates from the house, it was like a palace; the rich adorned furniture, the blossomed gardens filled with fresh flowers, the house was just too tasteful, the extravagant lushness could not be disguised. I was still in awe when she walked in to greet us. She was adorned in a beautiful attire that made her look like an Indian woman. Her impeccable beauty and that compelling desire to have her struck me hard.
“Hello Kunle.” she said to me
“Hi.” I replied with the little breath I could muster. Then the celebrant came and I knew I was her shining knight that I had to save her from this beast. Salim looks betrayed him; he looked like everything but an angel. He had this mean face and dangerous smile that denotes cruelty. He forcibly hugged her to her side as they left us to attend to other guests, she turned to look at me and I saw the plea in her eyes. There and then, I made up my mind to save her and have her for myself.
The party wore on until late in the night when the General arrived. I felt his powerful mien when he entered the house, it was as if God entered himself and we were his angels acknowledging his presence. The General was a huge tall man with a very hard face due to his days in the army force. I felt my knees wobble as he approached us. Musa quickly scamper to his feet to greet him.
“Ah Musa, how are you doing?”
“Fine sir.”
“Are these your friends?”
“Yes sir.” then he pointed at me, “is he the Kunle I have been hearing of?”
Musa didn’t say anything, he looked at me in a way that conveyed I should save myself. So I stood tall and looked at the General, “no sir, I’m not Kunle, but I’m a friend of his.” the General looked at Musa to collaborate my words.
“Yes, he is a friend of Kunle.”
“Then you tell Kunle never to let me my eyes set on him.” and he walked away.
I heaved a great sigh. “That was a near death experience.” I told Musa
“Now you know why I told you that Zara is off limits”
Throughout the party, I stayed clear from the general whose eyes bored at me anywhere I go. I sensed he knew I lied to him and was waiting for a moment to strike. Suddenly we had a screeching voice from the kitchen and we all ran in. Right there in the middle of the room was my damsel curled up and convulsing. I quickly ran in and grabbed a spoon, which I used to hold her mouth apart. “Someone get a balm!” I shouted
I tried all I could to bring her back to life. After a while, she relaxed, by then the paramedics had arrived and they drove her to a hospital. I could not go with them but my heart went with her. I prayed fervently that she would be okay.
The next day I could not concentrate until I called Musa who told me that she was still in the hospital.
“But is she getting better?”
“I can’t say but the situation seems critical.”
“Please Musa I have to see her; you have to help me see her.”
“Kunle, it’s clear that you don’t value your life but I won’t be the one to lead you to your death.”
I thought of a thousand ways to see her, and came up with one. I got the name of the hospital and acted as if I was paying a visit to a patient in the hospital. I was lucky that none of her family members were around when I came. She was awake but dazed.
“Hey.” she said when she saw me
“Hey you, how are you doing?”
“I’m fine; at least that’s what the doctor said.”
“You will be fine.” and I reached for her hand, she didn’t object and I took advantage of it to caress her fragile hands.
“If you will only let me in, I promise to love you more even in pain.” she smiled and touched my cheek.
“It’s impossible, I’m engaged.”
“Damn your fiancée, he doesn’t deserve you, I do, where is he now? He will never respect or love you the way I do.” I burst out in anger.
“Please, don’t do this to me.” she cried

“I’m sorry, I’m inconsiderate, imagine asking you out in a sick bed.” and she laughed heartedly.
“Do you like novels, and oh I brought some apples for you.”
“Thank you, that was very thoughtful of you and I love novels.”
“That’s good, I can read this for you, it’s the ‘Jury’ by John Grisham, do you love his books?”
“Yes I do.”
And I read to her until late in the evening. !I will be here tomorrow.” I promised her and kissed her cheeks. I continued this routine for a week until she was strong enough to leave. On the day of her discharge I came early.
“Yes, I will be your lover, your wife, anything you want me to be.” were the first word she told me. My heart was filled with an inexorable joy and I hugged her so tightly and for the first time we kissed. It was blissful and passionate. I watched her melt into my arms and my love knew no bounds. It was as if God had ordained this day for both of us. When we broke apart, she laughed so heartily and I joined her, reveling in that moment. I promised to take her out the next day, just then her folks arrived and I hid in the closet in fear of the General. That night I was the happiest man alive, I was so in love that I could not wait for the break of dawn. The next morning I woke up early and prepared for work, throughout my stay in school, I was filled with apprehension and excitement, it was intriguing and yet I felt anxious. I wanted to do the right thing, say the right words and be the right one for her. I was about to get into my car when Musa came.
“Hi Musa, what brought you here to my school?”
“Where are you going?” he asked me instead
“To see Zara.” I told him happily
“I will drive you.”
His statement surprised me and gave me the feeling that something was amiss
“Has the general found out about us?”
“No Kunle, I just want to give you the company.”
“It’s so unlike you.”
“Well I’m learning to appreciate you the more.”
We drove a while and the fear in my heart surged more, I couldn’t bear it anymore, so I grabbed the wheels and forced him to stop the car.
“Is Zara alright?”
“Haba Kunle, we are heading to her house now.”
“No Musa, we are not moving an inch until you tell me what is going on.”
By then, beads of perspiration were flowing down my body.
“Kunle, you have to promise me that you will be calm.”
“Just tell me!”
He held his head in his hands and gave me that forlorn look
“Zara is dead.”
I didn’t hear him so I asked again and he shouted. ”Zara is dead man.” tears were trickling down his face.
I grabbed him by his collar. “You are joking right, you are joking.”
“No Kunle, she is gone. She died last night.”
It dawned on me that he was telling the truth, that the love of my life is gone.
“Noooooooooo!” I screamed and got out of the car.
“Kunle, come back! Where are you going?”
I ran all the way to her house like a mad man, on reaching her house the atmosphere confirmed it all. It was true really true that Zara is gone. I broke into tears, uncontrollable ones. I was so shaken by everything that till date I don’t know how I got home that night. I managed to get to work the following day but couldn’t do anything, I even walked the principal out of my office, and my sorrow was just too insufferable for me. The school gave me a one week leave and here I am still mourning the woman of my life the love of my life, how cruel has fate been to me. Zara I don’t know if I can ever love again, you have taken my heart with you and wherever you are, have pity on me and give me the heart to love another.

CONFIDENCE OR ARROGANCE

Why is it that when a woman turns a man down the man thinks the woman is arrogant, especially when he has tried all his best to get her? Alternatively, for the women, when a man tries to show off his stuff, we easily pick up offence and call him arrogant. During the week, I encountered this drama with my friends, read and see if you can distinguish the arrogant one from the confident one.
Recently, Brian was promoted as the personal assistant to the manager of his bank, few weeks after his promotion, he got a new boss; an attractive sassy young lady, Becky Adenuga. Before Brian was introduced to her, he had thought that she was a new employee and was planning on how to ask her out. He had shown off the male chauvinism, which had automatically made Becky dislike him unknown to him. He had even boasted to his colleague that he will get her and she cannot resist his charm. Therefore, when she was asked to pick a PA, Brian was confident she would pick him because; he thought he was competent enough to be her PA than any of his colleagues. Moreover, it gives him the opportunity to be close to her despite the fact that it bugs him inside that she was his superior in the office. Unfortunately, she picked a colleague of his. All through that day, Brian fumed because he had been so nice to the lady since she assumed office. He felt that Becky was too arrogant. During board meetings, he was always contradicting any point she made. To make it worse, Becky orders her around like a servant because of her position in the office. At a point Brian went as far as checking out her curriculum vitae, disappointed that she had the right qualifications, he was still determined to get back at her. He knew he chose his colleague to torment him because he had made his interest in her obvious and she had turned him down. “I mean I am the ladies man.” He cried out to me.
One day, during the board meeting, Brian constantly challenged her to a point that Becky cried out: “this is why I did not pick you as my PA; you are just too full of yourself.” and she left the meeting angrily. “Everyone stared down at me so hard that I wished the ground should open and swallow me up.”
Later that day, he went to apologize to his boss (he said that sarcastically). She accepted but made it clear to him that she never wants to cross his path. Brian felt defeated and decided to lay low. “Like all my guys will do, I ignored her. We only exchanged formal greetings, which were all.”
Things went back to normal until a new female employee was employed and luckily, for Brian, Mrs. Coker was fond of him and was Becky superior. “What a nice way to show the lady that I’m still the man.”
Because of the fondness or favour as he calls it, Becky was no longer his boss; rather he was a boss of his own. This got Becky mad because she detests him. As fate would have it, after the end of a hard day at work, Brian was driving to the mainland from the island when he saw Becky stranded on the third mainland bridge, he quickly came to her rescue, despite the misgivings they have for each other.
“At first she declined my help because she was still trying to be a tough lady. When it dawned on her that I was her shining knight, she had no choice.” Do you know that the few minutes they shared during that ride changed their lives?
“I don’t even know how it started. The next thing I know, I’m picking up his calls, having lunch dates with him, and so breathless whenever I see him.” said Becky
“I remember she said she never liked me because I was too egocentric. Really? I asked her and she told me I made it too obvious to her that I was the ladies man and I told her she was a hard nut to crack and made me feel like a loser.” Said Brian happily. Therefore, I asked, “How was the first kiss?” and they left me.
This is typical in couples, if a woman sees a man that he likes, she quickly get a turn off when he display his male chauvinism, a man on the other hand hates it when the lady proves too hard to get. Why do they get frustrated? Why do the guys show off their ego as a way of attracting a lady? Is it just to send a message of confidence or is it insecurity? Do ladies turn guys off because they feel the guy is not too hot for them? Watch out for the concluding part of this article.

WHY DO MEN CHEAT?

This is the question in the minds of thousands of women in the world. Why in the world would he look at another woman? Why must he always go after every thing under a skirt, what makes the other woman better off than me? Ladies keep asking these questions without any plausible answer. Today he is with you, loving you, caring for you and the next minute he is checking out the other woman. he acts as if you do not exist, easily flares up when you make a simple sentence, looks at you strangely, shakes his head like he just woke up from a bad dream and bluntly tell you, “I think this is all a big mistake, what was I thinking, I’m sorry Kate but we can’t go out any longer?” In addition, you ask yourself what you have done wrong. you reflect on your attitude, lifestyle, the times you spent together happily, trying to see where you made the mistake, whereas you did nothing, he just found another woman he wants to try out. OR
he might act lovingly while still screwing your girlfriend or the girl next door until you walk in on them. “OMG!” you scream. Angrily you kicked him out of the house, while you bleed your heart out and ask yourself if you were deformed in anyway. What does she have that I don’t? OR
He tries to get you angry so that you can get frustrated and ask for a break up. Seriously, what is wrong with men? I know women cheat but it cannot be compared to men. When confronted they say it is their nature. Nature? What does nature have to do with cheating? In the western world, divorce rate is increasing each passing day as couples get into marriage and the next minute they get out of it. Before, the general idea was that men are just sex crazed but with the recent events in the entertainment industry, I think it is more than the sex. Men are leaving their girlfriends, wives because of money and fame. If you think I’m lying, check out Fantasia, Alicia Keys among the others. Their boyfriends are men who dumped their wives to be attached to their fame. Seriously, how low can a man stoop? This money issue is common with the women but it seems the men are taking the reins.
When I asked this question on a radio station, I received various answers from men. Some said it is predestined for men right from creation to cheat; a man even referred me to the bible. Well, in the bible, Old Testament to be precise, King David and Solomon are the only promiscuous men but others at least practiced polygamy. However, men of this age are not into polygamy, they are into divorce. I am sure if I Google the most divorced man, I will definitely get a name. Some claim that the women made themselves available, I will partially agree to that because most women are so cheap. It’s as if they are telling the guys two can play the game, if my man is catching his fun why can’t I?
A man said it’s for fun, the fun of having a woman at your beck and call even though you have a woman, just catch the fun of screwing every woman who wants to be screwed.
I was shocked when a caller told me that men cheat because of what they hear from other men who are cheaters. These are his exact words, “sometimes when you are in the midst of your male friends and they start discussing their sex escapades with women, you will be tempted to try it out. Sometimes, a woman might pass by and Joe will describe how good or bad she is in bed or how easy to get her. It is quite disgusting but it is fun especially when they hook you up with her. However, sometimes talking about how many women you have under your fingertips kinda make you the real man.” Tell me something else brother, I have to be careful whenever I walk in the midst of men.
Another answer I got was from a married man, he said he cheats on his wife because he found out that the wife has a crush on his elder brother and was always giving him all the preferential treatment. In retaliation, he slept with his wife kid sister who he claimed was better off in bed than his wife did. My ears are quite full.
A real player called and said it is just in him to cheat on his girlfriends.
“Maybe I’m a nympho but I just can’t get my eyes off anything called girl. I broke up with my girlfriends more often than I do my laundry. It’s just in me.” What a comparison!
Someone said most times it is the women fault, they do not give the man what he wants and if the man finds another woman who can satisfy him, he will definitely go for her no matter how much he loves the other woman. What happened to compromise?
Only one male caller said something reasonably, he said, “A man who cheats on his woman does not respect her and is selfish. If you love your woman as you claim, no matter the temptation, you will always be faithful to her.”
Reminds me of what my elder sister told me when I was still a teenager, “Date a guy that is so crazy over you even when you catch him with another girl, he will leave her and come after you.”
Personally, I think men are hardwired, they either go for where they can get the sex, money or fame free, as long as it is free they are going for it. Like the honest dude said, it is only a man who disrespects his woman and is selfish that cheats on his woman. So my sisters if you are hooked with a brother who cannot take his eyes from your girlfriend or the girl next door or anything under a skirt, then let him go because he’s not worth it and stop berating yourself. You are okay; he is just too blind to see your beauty and worth. But, do not ever try to cheat on your man because he is cheating on you because you will end up getting hurt. Always give yourself time before you jump into another relationship. And brothers, zip up! No matter the reason for your infidelity, remember you love her and you would not like to hurt her, especially married men. It is either you are into polygamy or not.
To all my players out there, always have this at the back of your mind; you can never out beat Solomon in the bible and AIDS is real!

WHOSE APPROVAL?

Before I start, let me introduce you to my coterie, Brian; a 27 year old banker, May; 33 year old advertising agent, and Ify; 25 years old and a marketer. Of course, I am also in the picture, the writer. We are all single except May who just got married recently. We are known for our sultriness, intelligence and beauty. Anyway, back to my story.
Ify met a new guy recently and was eager to do the meet and greet. This was how she dragged us out of our somnolent Saturday afternoon to see her new boyfriend. We all arrived there groggily, hoping to see him, but had to wait for an extra hour before the expected boyfriend arrived. Immediately he walked in, Ify anxiously watched the expression on our faces, which I could say, now was disapproving. It’s not as if the guy was bad but because our expectations were not met, we all didn’t like him at first sight. Thus, we were unable to see other qualities he might possess. Ify became discouraged and felt that the guy was not good for him as she watched us put up our plastic smiles and monosyllabic conversations. In anger, she made a flimsy excuse to discharge the guy from our silent torture. The instant he left, we all pounced on her.
“What were you thinking?”, “Was he the best you could get?”, and on we went with our ranting. She looked at us frustratingly and screamed.
“I liked him and all I asked you guys to do was to approve of him, but you couldn’t even pretend you liked him. Now every feeling I have for him had suddenly died, thanks to you.” she stormed out of the room and we all looked at each other guiltily.
Coincidentally, I had a similar experience that night. As a writer, I am invited to events. I had hooked up with a guy that was a PA to a very prominent writer, who was having his book launch party that night so I invited my friends. I was so head over heels in love with him that I dressed all hot and foxy, just eager to show off myself to his friends who would be coming to the party as well. On getting to the party, I immediately spotted my Romeo and dragged him to meet my friends. They all exchanged pleasantries and he excused himself to attend to other guests. I turned to my friends for their opinion and was not happy with the response I got.
Ify said, “With the way you have been going about him, I thought I would see a prince charming.”
May said, “His taste in clothes is quite sophisticated than yours. Won’t you feel intimidated?” In addition, Brian said, “He definitely won’t stick with you forever.”
My high spirits instantly sank low. Throughout the party, I avoided him as hell as my mind raced through my friends words. I got home quite pissed at myself and I wondered why I acted the way I did towards him. Was it just because my friends didn’t like him or what? If they had approved of him, would I be feeling this way or not? Do I really need my friends’ approval to love the man of my dreams? Whose approval really counts when it comes to relationship?
It suddenly dawned on me that as rational beings, we all want to be accepted by everybody in the society. The same applies in relationships. When we meet a new lover, we are so excited and are eager to show them off to our friends and families for approval. If they end up not liking them as we have anticipated, we automatically feel they are right and dejected. As much as we will like our friends or families to approve our Romeos and Juliet’s, the court really is in our hands. We can choose to either go with our friends/families decisions or trust our instincts. It really does not matter who likes him or her as long as you love them. Your opinion counts more than any other person’s opinion. If you really think, you need your friends/families opinion before you can make a final decision, then fine with you. Before you hang out with a guy, there had been an attraction, and when the forces of attraction were working, your friends or family members were not there, so why make their opinions count. One thing we fail to understand is that our friends and families have their own expectations from us, and when we don’t meet up with it, they discourage us, which ought not to be so. You should be able to know when to take their opinion and when not to. As I told a friend once, do not discard every advice you receive because you never can tell when it might be handy. Therefore, if you meet someone you truly believe you love then you definitely don’t need anyone’s approval. All you can do is to listen to your friends whining and choose the salient ones. In addition, you should be able to show them the light as well. Make them understand while you chose him or her, talk about his good qualities and if you can exaggerate some truths, please do. Because, sometimes your loved ones could be a hard nut to crack. Just let them know what perspective to view your love from and you will be surprised at the turn of events.
Another thing you should bear in mind is that you cannot know someone within a minute. Your friends cannot really tell everything about your Romeo or Juliet by spending just thirty minutes with them. They need to see him or her for a while before they can pass their judgments. So my point; nobody’s approval counts more than yours, unless you are still a baby. Babies still need guidance.
With that conclusion, I went to cheer Ify up.

NIGERIA-THE GIANT OF AFRICA

The melodrama in Nigeria is increasing each passing day. The conflicts varies, from abduction to political clashes, the list seem inexorable. Nigeria’s crises have reached an invincible state as there has been no conciliatory approach to curb the situation. Millions of innocent people are dying for sins they do not commit. The rulers are busy preparing mendacious propaganda neglecting the focal issue. Instead of resolving the conflicts, they are busy pointing fingers at each other over banal issues. Recently, the northern crisis in the country had done nothing more than to increase the rate of such disputes.
Nigeria is ripping apart gradually; there is no unity among its people. Formerly, clashes were limited to inter-tribal clashes but now it is being extended to clans. All these are ominous signs that the great giant of Africa is splitting into fragments. The current situation in Nigeria is devastating, ASUU is on strike, the education sector is crumbling, the power situation in the country is nothing to write home about, unemployment is eating deep into the society, resulting to brain drain as our graduates seeks greener pastures in foreign lands. The banking sector is dissolving with the recent dismissal of five major banks CEOs. It also revealed many backstage acts by the famous glitterati in our society who clam our media and make the poor envious.
With this entire catastrophe, one may begin to wonder where the good people and the good nation are. What is the evident that Nigeria is still a nation when everyday there is one snag or the other? Who are the good people in Nigeria when all we do is to fight each other and disintegrate? The president sits on his throne with his allies doing nothing but making trivia statements where the most salient issues are still unresolved. It’s as if Nigeria is walking in shadows, nothing is progressing, coupled with the economic meltdown, the country might crumble before 2020.
It is quite inconceivable that in a civilized era like this that the Northern part of the country would fight against western education. The worst is that they have political support which simplifies that some people in the inner caucus are behind this. Also, the council of states advised the federal government to carry out the deregulation of the downstream sector without any cushioning effect on the masses. In a normal mixed economy, if the sole right of petroleum resources is given to the government, it tends to reduce the price of petroleum products, but in Nigeria the reverse may be the case, as the facilities may not be adequately maintained or managed and there might still be inflation in prices due to our fraudulent leaders and bureaucracy in the system. The House of Assembly should not pass the bill and the Labour should fight this evil that is being meted out on the masses.
In Lagos state, the government in their bid to make Lagos a mega city has left many citizens devastated as their source of living are being destroyed. Demolition of buildings has become a daily activity, people are forced to stay at home or go back to their own states. The governor did not consider the burden inflicted on the victims in the implementation of this exercise and failed to provide an alternative for its victims, coupled with the high rate of unemployment in the state, the result will definitely increase crime rate, as an idle mind is the devil’s workshop.
What do all these signify? It simply means that the country‘s problems are too small for its size. How long are we going to fold our hands and watch the giant of Africa reduced to ant? Do we continue to reproach our leaders and still do nothing or we take the bold step and work towards the resolution?

One thing is certain; the leaders are not to be blamed totally, because each and every one of us is a leader one way or the other. We all have been infected with corruption; it is now deep-rooted in our system that we might need thorough cleansing to erase the birthmark of corruption from our blood. The funniest aspect is that the rate of crime in the country is not as high as that of America but yet we are rated as the third most corrupted country. We lack good judicial system, we are simply a lawless nation, and everyone is a law on its own.
Part of the blame should also go to the colonial masters. They were inconsiderate in the creation of the country, if they had divided Nigeria into three or four countries, it would have been able to manage its problems. Take Ghana for example, it is a small country but it is still well organized. South Africa is another country that has placed Nigeria in a ridicule state, merely two decades they gained independence; they are far developed than our country. We have most of our companies relocating to South Africa, most of our musicians and movie producers go there for their video shooting, some families spend their holidays there. What then can we say about our country? We have been ruled by bad leaders and it is detrimental to its citizens. Nigeria may claim to be a free country but it is still enslaved by depravity. It is not time for seeking who to bear the onus but time to start making amendment to restore our value. It is quite devastating that our youths are joining the militant group as a way of venting out their anger towards the leaders; abduction has become a daily threat to politicians and the elites in the country.
The Niger delta might be justified in their fights to improve their welfare but the measures taken are not apt. Who will be left to kill when everybody is killed? Niger delta is becoming a tinderbox that might thrust Nigeria into another civil war. The Biafrans are also at the other side; they might also seek retribution soon.
Nigerians need to out face their problem and work towards pacifism. A lot needs to be done; we must first of all accept one another, which is one way of getting the job done. How can one say we are one when the house is divided? It cannot stand. The leaders should stop accusing militants of murder, because there is no difference between killing someone and sending out order to kill someone. We all are guilty of murder. The next step is to erase all the bad eggs in the society and a good arbitrary, void of corruption should be established, a good leader should not necessarily assume office by cronyism, rather by virtue. All important issues should be explored. There should be a reconstitution of our laws. Nigeria may claim to be an independent country but it is still enslaved by its laws. Most of the laws in the constitution are outdated thus making it difficult for our leaders to adapt to new changes in relation to the revolution of time. If we remove the veil in our eyes, we will be able to see clearly and work towards a good means of restoring the value of our country.
What belongs to Caesar must be return to Caesar and what belongs to God must be return to God. The amnesty given to the Niger delta should not be used as a ploy to avoid their responsibility to improve the welfare of the area. The amnesty is good but the question is, will it completely obliterate another reoccurrence or is it just a short term solution? The three billion naira given to the militants is it to develop the area or to stop the harm that they are instigating on the economy? If the latter is the case, the government should be assured that the peace will not last long because these militants are also corrupt. They are also reaping from the fight, they engage in vices like oil bunkering and abduction. In essence, what the government is doing is giving the custody of a chunk of meat to a dog, the same meat that good for a man when they are fully aware that the dog will also eat the meat, as well as promising to do the maximum of their minimum best to curb the situation. The best resolution to the Niger delta problem is to develop the area by themselves and not bestowing the responsibility to anybody. Good roads, standard education, and other basic amenities should be provided. If they do all these, peace will definitely be restored.
It is high time Nigeria regained its strength as giant of Africa

DEALING WITH THE EX FILES

A friend paid me a visit the other day and during our discussion, she asked me if it was advisable to tell her fiancé about her ex. At that moment, I had no specific answer because I have not thought about it so I quickly told her that it depended on what she wanted to tell her fiancé about her ex. After she left I really thought about it. Why do we talk about our ex in a new relationship? Why are we so eager to talk about the past? Is it for security reasons or pity?
When it comes to a relationship, many things could go wrong with just those two letters, ‘ex’. While the intention might be to clear your closet, it might as well inflict mistrust on you by your spouse. We all have our mistakes and sins we have committed in the past. As much as we want the other party to see us in a new perspective, he or she may be force to recall your past deeds when you act in a similar way. Our ex should be our ex, and nothing more. There are some mistakes we all make when it comes to the ex files. They might seem common but they have caused more harm than good. Some of them include:
Telling your spouse about your ex: Is it necessary to tell your spouse about your ex? The answer to this question requires one to be diplomatic. Firstly, you must ask yourself why you want to tell him or her about your ex. Is it to clear your conscience or to leave a good impression on him or her? Is it an act of sincerity or is it just a formality? Secondly, you should be able to determine what angle of your ex you want your spouse to know about. Are you going to tell him or her about how your ex broke your heart, or how he cheated on you, or maybe the kind of attitude expressed in the relationship? You should not also neglect your own role in the relationship, because many of us are more eager to be the piteous one, seeking for sympathy, whereas we might be the cause of the breakup. If you have to be truthful, you should tell the truth to the very last bit. However, if he or she does not ask about it or probably stops you before you began, you should accept it in good faith. He/she is probably not interested. Nevertheless, if you think there are some important things your spouse should know about your ex that had influenced your way of life, please call it to his/her attention. It is better for your spouse to know earlier than never.
Inviting you ex to your love nest: I have seen many couples invite their ex to their love nest and I wonder what picture they are trying to paint. If your ex is your ex, then there is no need to go the extra mile by inviting him or her to be part of your new life. I am not saying you should make him your enemy or probably refuse to invite him or her for a meal when he is dying of hunger. No! The angle I am pointing at is when it becomes more than a monthly visit. You may think that you are building a friendship zone but you are actually mounting a war zone. Here are some questions you should ask yourself before you make such decisions:
How convinced are you that your ex is over you as much as you claim you are over him or her? How comfortable is your spouse over his or her regular visits? Is he receiving him or her with his arms wide open or with a poker face? Fine, there are exes who have turned out to be best friends but at least they were able to draw the lines. You do not get to the top of the mountain by standing at the base. You must climb the mountain! Have you been able to clarify his purpose of visits? Is he just checking up on you, or is he having a secret agenda up his sleeve? Is he happy for your new love or is he planning to rip you and your love apart? You might have a good intention but you cannot say the same for your ex. He or she might be holding some unexpressed feelings about you; it could be either love or hatred. Whichever, it spells out danger! So be very prudent about this before you venture into such rash decision.
Communicating more with your ex than your spouse: There is nothing more hurtful to a man or a woman than to realize that his or her spouse spends more time communicating with his or her ex than with him or her. The greatest mistake one can make is to make his or her love life an open book for his or her ex. To share intimate issues about your love life with your ex is like giving him or her a knife to kill you. The only reason acceptable for such acts is if the current relationship poses a threat to you. However, when this is not the case, then the act should not be encouraged, as it will lead to mistrust. Your spouse might end up feeling insecure about the relationship. He/she will have no choice than to believe that you still harbour feelings for your ex, and you feel more comfortable with your ex than you do with him or her. The most common mistake committed in a relationship is our inability to define the kind of relationship we keep with our ex after the breakup. One advice, if you still have feelings for your ex, do not venture into another relationship. If the possibility of reconciling with your ex is still high, then reconcile. It is of no use being with another man when your heart still long for your ex touch or kiss. If the reverse is the case then try to limit how much time you spend with him or her as well as avoiding the number of times you mention your ex name during conversations. This will only betray your hidden feelings.
Lastly, do not ever set up a meeting between your spouse and your ex. It makes absolutely no sense! Some people might perform this action as a way of sending their ex a message, while the ex might likewise be sending your spouse a message that might end up breaking your relationship. Never you make your ex approval your basis of dating your spouse. As much as you think he should be able to evaluate your spouse before you start a relationship with him or her, it is a very wrong step to take. You will end up making your spouse trying to live up to your ex shoes, which is very detrimental to the relationship.
Like I pointed earlier, the past should be your past and should not have a foothold in the present, unless the future will never be bright. If there is no need of discussing your ex with your spouse, take my advice; keep your mouth shut.